Codename Kringle

I don't mind the candy in the stocking, but I must admit - I've been wondering about the true identity of Santa Clause.

Been reading a Jack Higgins page turner, and can't help but think Kris Kringle is merely a cover-up. True greatness often emerges out of mixed influences. I was also watching The Great Indian Laughter Challenge over dinner, so:

Here are my top 3 conspiracy theories:

#3: He is a Maharashtrian.
Why?
Ho Ho Ho.

#2: He is black and a rapper. - [Thanks friend Ganji for pointing this out]
Why?
hoe hoe hoe.

#1 (I think I've finally nailed it): He's actually Bappi Lahiri!
[Rumba] Hoh Hoh Hoh.
To see how true this is, try the following word-association game:
1. fat man
2. happy man
3. decorated christmas tree

Sorry to have garrotted the child in you. But the truth must emerge. After all, with great boredom comes great responsibility.